This blog serves as my distribution point for alpha and beta readers for my first novel, a young adult fantasy currently titled Betrayed (revision beta)It’s the story of a young boy’s journey to restore the health and magical power of his mentor after he accidentally steals that power, and then makes a questionable alliance in his efforts to restore it.

With time, I plan to add more of my writings to this site, so it will be expanding and growing.

Thank you so much for taking time out of your life to read my novel and offer your insight and thoughts.


Gaining Access to the Chapters

The chapter posts are password protected to prevent “first publication” disputes and to limit access to the manuscript. To obtain the password, please fill out the form below.

NOTE: I will never use your email for anything other than communicating with you about your critiques of my novel.


Alpha/Beta Reading Instructions

As you read, please post your comments at the end of the chapter with each blog post. Those comments can be directed toward character, plot, setting, writing style or anything else you notice. Spelling/Grammar can be pointed out, but is not needed.  I am looking for both positives and negatives – what you like and what you may not.

Four Questions

At its simplest, there are four questions I would like you to think about as you read:

  1. Are you bored?
  2. Was there anything cool/neat/amazing that you really enjoyed?
  3. Was anything confusing?
  4. Was there anything you didn’t believe?

You don’t have to try to explain why, just note where.


  • (Boredom) I found myself getting bored when [character] was doing [X] and started skimming from there. Got to the end of the section and realized I don’t remember what happened.
  • (Confused) Wait, [character] was standing by the window and now they’re suddenly sitting down?
  • (Cool/Neat) He just flew. That’s awesome!
  • (Believability) Dude, there’s no way a 40 foot fall onto cobbles isn’t going to break something or maybe even kill them. Don’t believe that.

More About Alpha/Beta Reading

Laura Christensen has written an awesome primer on alpha and beta reading.  I recommend it.

Mary Robinette Kowal has a great analogy about symptoms vs. diagnosis in her video How to Train Your Internal Editor. I’m looking for symptoms.

And you can check my Alpha/Beta Read FAQ.


A Note on Brackets

Brackets may show up in several areas in my chapters. These are not mistakes. Rather they are reminders and notes to myself of things I need to correct, change, or name. Please ignore them for the time being.